Children, Teens, and Body Image
As young as three or four years of age, children begin to become aware of their bodies. With this knowledge, they may begin to notice obvious differences such as height and skin tone. As children’s language develops, they begin to listen more closely to the words those use around them, and this includes the words family, friends, and social media use to describe bodies. Without explicit instruction, most children are savvy enough to connect the dots, and as a result of these observations and interactions, children begin to understand the relationship they are expected to have with their bodies. Instead of learning to embrace their individual shapes, they develop an alternate reality consisting of self-deprecating comments, a desire to appear “thinner” and embarrassment about body parts that are inconsistent with socially influenced ideals. If this sounds all too familiar, read below for ideas that can help your child develop a healthy relationship around body image:
Teach your youngster about his/her body. If you are unsure of how to begin this conversation, start with books such as “The Care and Keeping of Your Body” or “Guy Stuff: The Body Book for Boys,” both by Dr. Cara Natterson.
Set an example by talking about your own body using positive terminology. Instead of commenting about the body parts you wish were different, express aloud the gratitude you have for your unique shape. If you have nothing nice to say, silence is acceptable.
Talk about eating healthy to be healthy, not to lose weight. Most of us experiment with food choices to combat slow metabolisms, gravity or unexplained weight gain. Your child does not have to know that you want to be a smaller size or that you do not like the way you look. Instead of saying, “I need to lose weight,” try, “I want to be healthy and I am changing what I eat to accomplish this goal.” Allow your child to define health for him/herself without the self-imposed values our society pushes.
Pay attention to warning signs such as intentionally skipped meals, rapid weight loss, obsessiveness about weight, and/or continual comparisons with others’ bodies. If you are concerned about your child, you probably should be, and you may want to solicit outside help. Body image issues do not typically remedy themselves in the absence of formal interventions.
Do not comment negatively about other people’s body shapes. Be aware of how you talk about other people’s bodies and do not say statements aloud that you would not want your child to repeat to him/herself.
Body image is a topic that can be loaded with uncomfortable, complex emotions. It does not always have to be this way though. Most children and adolescents have been engaging in inner dialogue about body image since they were mature enough to do so. Make the conversation audible so that you can provide the necessary feedback your child needs to hear.